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Monthly Archives: February 2015

Memory Monday-Barbie Goes Sailing

Memory Monday-Barbie Goes Sailing

Memory Monday-It’s a thing…

Over the past week, we’ve had a lot of snow, sleet, and rain where I live. Last week, it seemed like there were winter weather advisories every day. The temperature fell to sub-zero. Now, we are hovering above the freezing mark and all the pretty, white snow is turning to brown slushy mush. The winter weather advisories have been replaced with flood warnings as the snow melts and causes local streams to overflow. The probable flood made me think about the challenges of flooding at my grandmother’s house.

From Granny’s house, we had to cross a small branch and a larger creek to get to the main road. The creek bordered two of our hay fields and then curved back toward the house at the far end of the western end of the field. Along the side of the house, there was a small branch that follow out of the holler (local lingo, not a misspelling) and into the creek. Even with the hayfields giving us some distance from the creek, during heavy rains we would get flooded in (or out depending which side of the creek you were on when the rain started).

To get to the main road, we had to cross two bridges. The first was small foot bridge about six feet or so from the bed of the branch. It was same the bridge I was shoved off of when I broke both my arms. From there, we had a path between the branch and a second hayfield that lead to the larger swinging bridge that spanned the creek. Near the foot of the swinging bridge, there was a small grassy area, sort of like a little meadow, that flooded as well. Once the water retreated back to the banks of the creek and branch, this little grassy area would drain slowly forcing us to walk around edge of the meadow for a few days.

Flood waters cutting off access between Granny’s house and the road happened a few times a year. Winter snow melting, spring rains, and summer thunderstorms could cause a flood at any time of the year. One summer, before school ended for the year, we had some pop up thunder storms and I ended up missing a few days of school. The water finally fell enough that I could get to the road so I was back to school. I got off the bus on this particular afternoon and headed toward my house. Water was still backed up in the meadow, but low enough I could walk around it. I crossed the swinging bridge and noticed something floating in the pooled flood waters.

Once I was close enough to see what it was, I flew into a rage! Someone had taken two of my Barbie dolls and put them in a toy boat and set them adrift in the water. Naked. My dolls were sailing NAKED around a flood pool.

It wasn’t hard to figure out the guilty party once I got inside the house. My cousin Kurt was already doubled over and laughing. I’m sure I threw a fit over the naked dolls. I imagine there was lots of shouting and foot stomping. I remember being mad at Kurt for weeks after the incident. Granny made Kurt go retrieve my dolls and I’m pretty sure she thought the entire situation was funny although she would have never let me see her laugh about it.

I found no humor in the situation at all at the time. Now, I wish I had a picture of the naked sailors.

 

From the road with Granny's house in the distance.

From the road with Granny’s house in the distance.

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Memory Monday-Blind Date

Memory Monday-Blind Date

Memory Monday-It’s a thing…

A few years ago, I gave up on the whole dating thing. Being in my mid-thirties and a single lady for the majority of my life, the dating scene seemed to get progressively worse.

Then it happened. I hosted a small cookout for a few close friends and my best friend, Michelle, said the words every single person fears…”So, there’s this guy we’d like to introduce you to.” The “we” in this case being her and a couple other mutual friends of ours. If I recall, they cooked up some convoluted plan to invite him out, invite me out, and try to make it look like a coincidence thing. Michelle didn’t want to ambush me and spilled the beans on the whole story.

After some fussing and general grumpiness about being “set up,” I agreed to check out his Facebook page and maybe talk to him. His name is Tim and his page told me he was older than me by a few years. I dated younger men. The profile picture he used wasn’t the most flattering which left me iffy on that aspect. I agreed to talk to him on Facebook, no need to exchange phone numbers. Facebook is a crappy way to carry on a conversation, so I finally gave him my phone number so we could text. You know, because texting on a phone and using Facebook messages are so different.

Anyway…He made up a lame excuse about trying to set up a new browser on his computer and asked if he could call me to help him. It was all a ploy to get me on the phone. After a few weeks of texting, I suggested that we meet for coffee at our local Starbucks. My plan: Meet him for coffee. If he wasn’t a troll or complete dork, then I’d invite him to go to a local club where I was meeting friends later that night. If he was a troll or dork, then I could still salvage the night and hang out with my friends. Ladies, always have a back-up plan if you are letting your friends fix you up or blind dating in any form.

The coffee date went well. He looked much cuter in person than he did in his picture. He was funny and could talk about more than himself, wrestling, and NASCAR. I extended the invite to go to the club with me to meet my friends and he accepted. I suggested we take one car, mine, and promised to take him back to his car later. He agreed and we left Starbucks. As we walked, he pointed to a black car parked in front of us and talked about the driver’s crappy parking job. The parking space was one of four spaces where the sidewalk was narrowed to make parallel parking spots. The curb runs in front of one space and behind one space. He kept going on and on about how the person driving that car couldn’t park. Finally, I pushed the unlock button on my key remote and watched his head fall as my car, crappy parking job and all, lit up and the door clicked to unlock.

I heard him mumble, “Well shit.”

I laughed. Tim and I have been dating for about 2.5 years now.

Memory Monday-Happy Birthday, Mom

Memory Monday-It’s a thing…

This isn’t a typical Memory Monday. It’s a chance for me to wish my mom a very happy, happy, happy birthday.

My birthday was two days ago and Mom has always joked with me about not waiting two more days so our birthdays could be on the same day. Our birthdays are bittersweet for us. As if a winter birthday isn’t bad enough on its own, her birthday is also the anniversary of the day her mother (my grandmother) passed away. Granny passed in 1994 and it’s still difficult for both of us to fully, completely enjoy our birthdays.

[Deleted by request.]

I drafted what I thought was a nice piece on all the things I learned from my mother over the years. She asked me to stop posting stuff about her on the internet so I deleted it. I’ll just leave it at:

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you.

Memory Monday-Winter Birthday

Memory Monday-It’s a thing… To all my readers born in winter months, nobody knows our struggle. What I remember most about my birthdays is snow. Snow. Snow. And more snow. Forget parties or going somewhere special. I heard of some winter babies deciding to celebrate the half way mark since that puts them in a […]

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